“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”
– Nora Ephron, Writer
The deepest, most profound pain one might ever experience is often generated by betrayal. Suffering, isolation, and shame can keep even a go-getter, kid-wrangler, and CEO, stuck in a downward spiral. Just the idea of experiencing joy or wondering if it still exists can seem like a distant dream, a lie, or at minimum a daunting task.
You might be asking yourself how you missed the tell-tale signs or what you could have done differently to make your partner happy. But is it fair or at all helpful to beat yourself up by asking what you could have or should have done? Maybe you just discovered a rupture in your relationship or maybe you’ve known deep inside for a long time. Regardless, the impact is the same.
Once betrayal is exposed, you might have a lot of questions for your spouse about the relationship. What led to this? Where do we go from here? Is it over? These are all good and important questions, but during these trying times, it’s vital to focus on you, your healing, and your growth as you adjust to the aftermath of the betrayal. You have questions to ask yourself. How do I move on? Can I ever trust them or anyone else again? Can my relationship be restored?
How Can I Help?
Understanding and moving toward healing after a betrayal doesn’t happen overnight. But know that there is a way out. Recovery and feeling safe again are possible and you might be closer to it than you realize. Initially, you may be just trying to survive, but then you make movements toward actually thriving. In a safe space, together, we will look at solutions for healing, and set goals. You will see your resilience improve and your growth noticeable. You will learn how to let go of the negative emotions attached to the betrayal and move toward forgiveness. Forgiveness and replacing destructive thoughts will help the healing process and with it, a deeper certainty that there is a brighter future ahead leading to happiness.
Areas of focus and symptoms:
“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.”
– Oprah, TV Host and Producer
Society has taught us to fit into a certain box and to go by standards our male counterparts never have to meet. We are still living in a patriarchal world which often dictates how we should show up, look, and act to be the ideal woman. For many, we are no strangers to comparison and self-judgment. We decide if we are good enough or falling short just based on what we think other women are doing or what we see on social media or in the news. Our society has created a matrix that is unfair and misses the mark on what it means to be a woman.
Today we have more choices but also more challenges. Women’s issues involve everything and anything that strays from the social norm … from the woman who is “breaking the glass ceiling” or who chooses to be a stay home mom. Either way, the struggles and impact are the same. A new career, a life transition, struggles in marriage, a new relationship, menopause, our changing bodies, motherhood, looking for your sense of purpose … the way we neglect or deny our challenges emanate from our basic inner resolve and determination. That’s the good news in all this. We can enrich our lives through the brave steps we take toward self-discovery. It is in that search that we can find clarity and discover our inner joy – or acquire it for the very first time.
How Can I Help?
If you believe deep down that you know you’re perfect just the way you are, but you struggle to let that feeling express itself, then there’s work to be done. Now is the time to learn to tune out the negative noise and messages and to get in touch with your inner self. By “getting in touch” I mean that part of you that accepts that you deserve self-compassion, inner strength, self-worth, healthy relationships, and most of all, self-love.
You don’t have to do that alone. I am here to support you through that discovery and the emotional challenges and to help you build resilience as you become your best self.